How to reach us from...Mars
Well, never mind: it’s not a very long journey and we’ll guide you.
Board your spaceship and use Martian teleporting to reach the top of Olympus Mons, whence you shall start your
journey. Set a speed of 340,798,557 m/s: if you’re in luck and the traffic isn’t too heavy you can expect to get here
in three hours and a half or so.
As soon as you leave Mars‘s atmosphere turn left (for turning right you’d be heading for Jupiter) and continue for
about 80 million km. At a certain point you might come across one or more of the six Martian satellites equipped
with a speed camera: slow down to 290,798,557 m/s or less.
Keep flying SW until you find planet ET. Remember to fill up because you won’t find another service station for
about 47 million km—where fuel comes at exorbitant prices only.
Leave the atmosphere of ET, fly directly towards the Chewbacca star cluster, overtake it, keep on flying till you
reach the Dart Vader black hole, then turn left. Another 35 million km will see you at the interstellar customs
house, where you will be asked: “How can a space miner eke out a living after he’s been laid off?” You may
reply, “He can try to scrape out an existence”.
As you clear the customs you can either continue through the Spock nebula or proceed forward for some 10
million km until the Solar Fields. Visibility within the nebula is poor, but you’ll have a safe journey; by choosing to
go through the Solar Fields you may save about half an hour, but you will also risk bumping into some sort of
space debris. Indeed, this belt is haunted by the progeny of Laika the dog, a fact recently reported to the Galactic
Police owing to the dilapidated hovels in which they live.
Once you are through either the Spock nebula or the Solar Fields, keep flying straight ahead for another 2 million
km and you’ll get to Gavirate, 40 via Rovera, exactly where we are. Ring the bell and leave your spaceship in the
cark park within: we will be pleased to welcome you with a steaming cup of coffee, to us earthlings one of the
most popular beverages !
Testo di Valeria Galbiati